Prof HAKIZIMANA Maurice
Akenshi abantu bavuga ko urukundo ari rwo rufatiro rw’ishyingirwa riryoshye. Ibyo ni ukuri. Niba nta rukundo ruhari, ni iki cyatuma abantu babiri bahitamo kubana, kubaka urugo no gusangira ibyishimo n’ingorane z’ubuzima?
Ariko hari ikibazo gikwiye kwibazwa: Ese koko urukundo rwonyine rurahagije kugira ngo ishyingirwa rirambe?
Dukurikire kuri WhatsApp: https://whatsapp.com/channel/0029VaCyM5ILdQejDYwQ2b2u no kuri Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/professormaurice/
(1) Urukundo rwonyine ntiruhagije!
Abantu babiri bashobora gukundana by’ukuri, ariko na none umubano wabo ukagenda uzamo agatotsi ndetse ukaba wanangirika. Bashobora kuba bafitanye amateka meza, imigambi bahuriyeho, barabyaranye abana, bakaba bamaze imyaka myinshi bubaka ubuzima bwabo, ndetse bombi bakaba bifuza bivuye ku mutima gukomeza kubana no kuzasazana. Ariko iyo kubahana bishize, urugo rwabo nako ishyingiranwa ryabo ritangira gusenyuka. Urukundo ni rwo ruhuza abantu babiri. Ariko kubahana ni byo bituma bakomeza kubana nezan kugeza ku iherezo.
(2) Urukundo rwonyine ntiruhagije: Kutubahana bisenya urugo
Mu ngo nyinshi, nyuma y’imyaka myinshi abashakanye babana, usanga urukundo rwabo rwarakuze kandi rukaba rwarashinze imizi. Baba barabyaranye abana beza, bashimishije kandi bateye ishema ababyeyi bombi. Baba barageze kuri byinshi bafatanyije: batuye mu mugi cyangwa mu ntara bifuza, bafite akazi, inzu, imodoka, ubushobozi bwo kwiteza imbere mu bukungu, ndetse rimwe na rimwe bakaba barageze ku ntego bari barihaye. Babayeho neza, badafite ibibazo bikomeye by’ubukene cyangwa ibindi bibazo by’umutungo. Buri wese ashobora no kumva ko yamaze gufatisha mugenzi we byarangiye,kumubona nk’umuntu atazigera atakaza, uko byagenda kose.
Nyamara, akenshi ni muri ibi bihe nyirizina umuntu ashobora kubona ko urukundo rwonyine rutari ruhagije.
Usanga hari abashakanye bubaha cyane abakoresha babo, abayobozi b’amadini yabo ndetse n’incuti zabo, ariko abo bashakanye bakabafata nk’abantu badakwiriye kubahwa no guhabwa agaciro.
Guhora uca uwo mwashakanye mu ijambo, gusuzugura ibyiyumvo bye, gukerensa ibibazo by’uburwayi afite cyangwa kutita ku byamushimisha,ku bimunezeza yakubwiye kenshi, ni imwe mu myitwarire igaragaza ko tutita ku gaciro k’umuntu twahisemo kubana na we.
Dufate urugero: niba dushobora kwifata mu magambo no mu myitwarire igihe turi imbere y’umukoresha wacu ku kazi, yaba umugabo cyangwa umugore, ndetse n’igihe atubwiye nabi, kuki tutashobora nibura gufata uwo twashakanye mu kinyabupfura n’icyubahiro nk’uko tubigenza ku bo dukorana cyangwa abayobozi bacu ku kazi?
Niba tuzi kubaha no kugira ikinyabupfura imbere y’abantu bo hanze y’urugo rwacu, kuki byatugora kugira iyo myitwarire ku bo tubana?
(3) Urukundo rwonyine ntiruhagije: Bagore, mugandukire abagabo banyu nk’uko kera byahoze n’uko na Bibiliya ibyigisha
Hari kandi igihe usanga bamwe mu bagore bareka kubaha abagabo babo, bakabafata nk’abantu bamaze kwigarurira burundu, bakibwira ko ntaho ateze kujya.
Ubutware bw’umugabo mu muryango bugenda buyoyoka, umugore agatangira gufata ibyemezo byose no kugenzura urugo uko abyifuza. Ibyemezo n’amategeko ashyirwaho n’umugabo bikarwanywa ku mugaragaro cyangwa bigasuzugurwa, mu gihe iby’umugore we aba yashyizeho byo agomba kubona ko byubahirizwa uko abyifuza.
Kutubahana ntikugaragarira buri gihe mu ntonganya zikomeye. Bishobora gutangira buhoro buhoro, binyuze mu myitwarire abantu bamwe bafata nk’aho ari ibisanzwe.
Soma kandi: Umugabo wanjye yishwe n’ubwibone bwanjye
Dufate ingero nke. Umugabo ashobora gutegeka ati: «Iwacu, ifunguro rya nimugoroba rigomba gufatwa saa moya n’igice z’umugoroba, kandi twese tugomba guteranira ku meza tukarifatira hamwe.» Ni irihe tegeko ryaba ryoroshye kandi ryumvikana kurusha iryo? Ashobora no kuvuga ati: «Iwacu, sinshaka akajagari. Buri kintu kigomba gushyirwa mu mwanya wacyo.» Cyangwa ati: «Iwacu, sinifuza ko hagira umwe mu bagize umuryango ugeza saa tatu z’ijoro atarataha atabanje kubisabira uruhushya.»
Aya ni amwe mu mategeko y’ibanze umugabo ashyiraho agamije gusohoza inshingano ze zo kuba umutware w’umuryango no kwita ku mikorere myiza y’urugo.
Sola nanone: Uko wamenya umugore w’umuhanga mu kwifatira umugabo: amayeri amwe abagore bakoresha bakifatira burundu abagabo babo
Iyo umugabo akomeje kubona ubushegabo bw’umugore we,ashobora kugera aho atakibona ko yubashywe mu rugo rwe. Ashobora kutongera kumva akunzwe, ahabwa agaciro kandi, cyane cyane, akumva ko atakiri umuntu w’ingenzi mu maso y’umugore we.
Aha ni ho hari imwe mu ngaruka zikomeye zishobora kwibasira ishyingirwa: abantu babiri bashobora gukomeza kubana mu nzu imwe, ariko buhoro buhoro bakareka gusangira ishyingiranwa, urukundo, n’amarangamutima aha hagati y’abashakanye.
(4) Urukundo rwonyine ntiruhagije: Icyo Bibiliya yigisha
Bibiliya itanga inyigisho zifite icyo zitwigisha ku mibanire y’umugabo n’umugore.
«Buri wese muri mwe akunde umugore we nk’uko yikunda; ku rundi ruhande, umugore agomba kubaha cyane umugabo we.» — Abefeso 5:33.
Uyu murongo ukwiriye gutekerezwaho byimbitse.
Intumwa Pawulo ntagaragaza urukundo nk’amarangamutima y’igihe gito ashobora gucaho yihuta. Ahubwo asaba umugabo gukunda umugore we nk’uko yikunda. Ibyo bisobanura kumwitaho, kuzirikana ibyo akeneye, kurinda icyubahiro n’agaciro ke no kutamukorera ibyo na we atakwifuza gukorerwa.
Imirongo mike ibanziriza uwo, mu Befeso 5:25, isobanura ko umugabo agomba gukunda umugore we nk’uko Kristo yakunze itorero akaryitangira. Bityo, urukundo rw’umugabo rugaragarira mu bikorwa kurusha mu marangamutima, rugaragarira mu kwitanga, mu gukorana umwete no mu kwitangira umuryango we hamwe no kuwuha urugero rwiza mu myitwarire.
Iyo nyigisho inavuga ko umugore agomba kugaragariza umugabo we icyubahiro cyimbitse. Kubaha umugabo wawe bisobanura kwemera agaciro ke, gufatana uburemere ibyo avuga no kumuvugisha mu cyubahiro no mu kinyabupfura.Nk’uvugana n’umutware we.
Inyigisho za Bibiliya ntizishyigikira gupyigagaza uwo mwashakanye, urugomo, gutegekesha igitugu cyangwa kwambura umuntu uburenganzira bwe. Urukundo no kubahana bigomba kurangwa no kwita ku gaciro ka buri wese.
Umugabo asaba kubahwa no kugandukirwa nawe agakunda umugore we by’ukuri. Na none, umugore ntashobora kuvuga ko yubaka urugo rurangwa n’amahoro kandi asuzugura umugabo we, amwima icyubahiro,atubahiriza amategeko ye, cyangwa amurwanya ubudasiba mu birebana n’ubutware bwe mu muryango.
(5) Urukundo rwonyine ntiruhagije: izindi nkingi z’ishyingirwa rirambye
Kubahana bifite umwanya w’ingenzi cyane, ariko si byo byonyine byubaka urugo. Ishyingirwa rikomeye rishingira no ku bindi bintu byinshi:
Icyizere: Buri wese agomba kuba ashobora kwemera nta gukeka amababa amagambo, amasezerano n’ubwitange bya mugenzi we.
Kuganira no gushyikirana: Kuvugana ukuri, gutega amatwi utamuca mu ijambo no kwiga gusaba imbabazi igihe cyose ukosheje.
Ubudahemuka: Kurinda icyizere n’ubudahemuka bihuza abashakanye.Kudacanya inyuma.
Inshingano: Kugira uruhare mu kubaka urugo no gusohoza inshingano buri wese yiyemeje.Gukorana umwete.
Kwihangana no kubabarirana: Kwemera ko abantu badatunganye, kwemera amakosa no kwiga gukomeza urugendo rw’ubuzima mufatanyije.
Kuba umwe no gufashanya: Kudatererana uwo mwashakanye mu gihe cy’ibigeragezo, ibibazo by’amafaranga, ibibazo byo mu muryango cyangwa impinduka z’ubuzima.
Ubwitange n’ubushake bwo gukomeza kubana: Gusobanukirwa ko ishyingirwa ridashingira gusa ku marangamutima y’igihe runaka, ahubwo ko risaba gufata icyemezo gihoraho cyo gukomeza kubaka ubuzima mufatanyije.
Ikindi kandi, tugomba kumenya ko iyo mico myiza yose itizana ubwayo ku munsi w’ubukwe. Irigwa, ikitabwaho kandi igakomezwa uko imyaka ihita.
(6) Urukundo rwonyine ntiruhagije: Ishyingirwa ni ubufatanye, si uguhangana mu guharanira gutegeka
Ishyingirwa ntirikwiye kuba irushanwa aho umugore ashaka gutegeka cyangwa kwerekana ko ari we ufite ukuri mu gihe n’umugabo adashaka kurekura ubutware bwe. Nyamara, hari ingo usanga umugore n’umugabo bahora bahanganye mu kurwanira ubutware. Buri wese ashaka gutegeka, kuvugira hejuru no kugira ijambo rya nyuma.
Icy’ingenzi ni ugusobanukirwa ko abantu babiri, buri wese afite imico ye, uko yiyumva, uburambe bwe ndetse n’ibintu batandukaniyeho, bahisemo kubaka ubuzima bafatanyije.
Mu rugo rurangwa n’uburinganire n’ituze, buri wese agomba kuba afite uburenganzira bwo kuvuga icyo atekereza adatinya, agategwa amatwi atannyegwa, kandi akagira ibyo atemeranyaho na mugenzi we atabangamiwe cyangwa ngo aterwe ubwoba. Rimwe na rimwe, umuntu agomba kumenya guceceka kugira ngo adakomeretsa undi. Ariko kandi agomba no kumenya kuvuga kugira ngo ibikomere byo mu mutima bitavamo ibikomere byimbitse kandi bihishwe.
Ikirenze ibyo byose, umuntu agomba kugira ukwicisha bugufi akemera ko na we ashobora kuba ari we soko y’ububabare ashinja mugenzi we.
Umwuka w’isi ya none wigishije abagore ko batagomba kuyoborwa n’umuntu uwo ari we wese cyangwa kugandukira ubutware bw’umugabo. Iyi mitekerereze ishobora kugira uruhare mu guteza ikibazo gikomeye cy’ubutware mu ngo zimwe na zimwe.
Kugira ngo dusobanure iki kibazo, dufate urugero rw’imodoka: imodoka ikenera umushoferi umwe kugira ngo igende. Iyo abantu babiri cyangwa batatu barwaniye gufata volant icyarimwe, buri wese ashaka kuba ari we utwara imodoka uko abyumva, ibyago byo gukora impanuka biriyongera cyane.
Ni na ko bimeze mu rugo. Iyo ihame ry’ubutware ritacyubahirizwa, buri wese agashaka gushyiraho umurongo we bwite no gutegeka uko abyumva, urugo rushobora kugwa mu kajagari no mu makimbirane adashira. Amaherezo, birangira urukundo ntacyo rubafashije, ishyingiranwa ryabo rigahungabana cyangwa rigasandara.
(7) Urukundo rwonyine ntiruhagije: Gukunda umuntu bisobanura no kumwitaho no kumuha agaciro
Urukundo ni ingenzi, ni umutungo w’agaciro gakomeye. Ariko kugira ngo rumare imyaka myinshi, rugomba kugaragarira mu bikorwa, mu magambo no mu myitwarire ya buri munsi.
Umuntu ashobora guha uwo bashakanye indabyo, kwizihiza isabukuru y’igihe bamaze bashyingiranywe buri mwaka, kumubwira amagambo meza y’urukundo no kumusezeranya ko azamukunda ubuziraherezo. Ariko niba mu buzima bwa buri munsi umugore asuzugura umugabo we, cyangwa umugabo adaha agaciro umugore we cyangwa buri umwe ntazirikane ibyiyumvo bya mugenzi we, amagambo meza amaherezo atakaza agaciro kayo.
Mu by’ukuri, urugo rwiza kandi rurangwa n’ibyishimo ntirwubakwa gusa n’abantu babiri bakundana cyane, ahubwo rwubakwa n’abantu babiri biga buri munsi gukundana, kubahana, gutegana amatwi no gushyigikirana.
Urukundo rushobora kuba ari rwo rwatumye abantu babiri bahitamo kubana. Ariko ni na none imyitwarire yabo ya buri munsi n’uburyo bafatanya kubaho bigira uruhare rukomeye mu gutuma bakomeza kubana.
Wowe se ubitekerezaho iki? Urukundo rwonyine rurahagije kugira ngo ishyingirwa rirambe, cyangwa kubahana ni imwe mu nkingi z’ingenzi kurusha izindi zituma urugo rukomera?
Umwanditsi
Mwalimu Hakizimana Maurice ni umwarimu (enseignant) umusemuzi n’umuhinduzi (traducteur-interprète) n’umwanditsi (écrivain) ukorera i Paris,mu Bufaransa.Ni we nyir’urubuga rw’amakuru Eurêka Academy Studio wanasanga kuri Youtube Eurêka Studio TV
Mwalimu Hakizimana Maurice ni umwanditsi w’igitabo “UTABA AMATEKA NTABONA ITAKA” Editions Scribes cyavuyemo iyi nyandiko yose.
Igitabo UTABA AMATEKA NTABONA ITAKA kiboneka gicapye kuri Amazon unyuze hano:
https://sellercentral.amazon.com/nms/redirect/98e82759-1a8e-30da-b03d-97ecd6fa2281?nt=PRINT_LISTING&sk=BHA8IdY56n9BoLFaPNd1bWm5-xgcP2zJgEk5Dnxeqdwdhyo_EcOiXVfOw2gMApbV9-HvwpATOID5XhQ8TNzZwg&n=1&u=aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuYW1hem9uLmNvbS9kcC8yOTMxMjY2MjIx.
UTABA AMATEKA NTABONA ITAKA kiboneka no muri format électronique (soft copy) unyuze hano: https://www.amazon.it/Utaba-Amateka-Ntabona-Itaka-Afrikaans-ebook/dp/B0GTQZ4CBC?fbclid=IwVERDUARzok1leHRuA2Flb
Ntugacikwe n’inkuru za Eurêka Academy Studio hano mu nyandiko no kuri Youtube Eurêka Studio TV
KWAMAMAZA
TIDAS – Traduction (guhindura mu ndimi inyandiko), Interprétariat (gusemura) &Accompagnement dans vos démarches d’asile et de séjour en France” (gufasha byose mu bijyanye n’amadosiye asaba ubuhunzi, gutura, no kubona ibyangombwa byose byo gukorera no kuba mu Bufaransa)
Murakaza neza muri TIDAS
Intego yacu: gufasha abanyamahanga baba mu Bufaransa guhangana n’imbogamizi z’ururimi n’iz’ibyangombwa byose.
Serivisi zacu:
Itumanaho n’ubusemuzi mu gihe cyo guhura n’abategetsi cyangwa gushyira ku murongo dosiye zawe Kugufasha dosiye zo gusaba ubuhungiro
Ubufasha bwose mu bijyanye n’amadosiye yo gutura, no kubona ibyangombwa byose byo gukorera,kwiga no kuba mu Bufaransa
Hamwe na TIDAS, ubona serivisi ya kinyamwuga, yemewe n’amategeko; yita ku bantu kandi yizewe.Twizera ko buri muntu akwiye gutegwa amatwi no gufashwa.
Twandikire uyu munsi tuvugane ku mushinga wawe kuri (+33) 07 58 90 35 49 cyangwa utwandikire kuri tidasetvous@gmail.com
