Uko wamenya umugore w’umuhanga mu kwifatira umugabo: amayeri amwe abagore bakoresha bakifatira burundu abagabo babo

HAKIZIMANA Maurice

KWIFATIRA undi muntu ni ugukoresha amayeri ukamuyobora ku myitwarire yifuza. Kandi iyi nteruro ngo “amayeri yo kwifatira umuntu (manipulation)” hano isobanura “kugusha umuntu mu mutego ubigiranye amayeri, umwenyura mu isura nziza,ugahisha ububi bwose buri inyuma kugeza ugeze ku cyo wifuzaga”. Umugore ukoresha bene ayo mayeri rero ni uwifatira umugabo we akamutura mu mutego, akamwungukiramo kandi byose ku nyungu ze, ku munezero we kugeza ubwo amwigaranzura akamuhindura inganzwa ayoboza agatoki.

Abagore bose ntibifatira abagabo babo muri ubwo buryo,none se ni gute watahura bene uyu mugore? Mu minsi ishize twaganiriye ku ngingo yari ifite umutwe uvuga ngo Abagabo ni abagaragu b’abagore-menya uburyo igitsina gore cyifatiye abagabo kikabahindura abagaragu babo bucece (wayisoma hano). Uyu munsi turakomerezaho tuganire uko wamenya umugore w’umuhanga mu kwifatira umugabo: amayeri amwe abagore bakoresha bakifatira burundu abagabo babo.

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(1) Kumuhindura injiji

Aguhindura injiji kugira ngo nawe ubwawe ushidikanye ku myumvire yawe cyangwa wibwire ko koko nta cyabaye. Urugero: “Ibyo urimo gutekereza siko byagenze, dore uko byagenze….Ubanza warabyibagiwe .”

(2) Kumutandukanya n’abandi

Gutandukanya umugabo n’inshuti n’umuryango we kugira ngo amwifatire burundu ntazigere amuva mu nzara . Urugero: “Kuki umarana nabo umwanya munini? Ntukeneye undi muntu mu buzima bwawe keretse njyewe sheri, bébé,rukundo rwanjye. Uzi ko ari jye ugukunda kurusha abandi bose mu isi no mu ijuru. ”

(3) Kumutesha agaciro buri gihe

Gutesha agaciro umugabo kugira ngo agabanye agaciro ke no kumva ari uw’igitangaza n’ubwo byaba ari byo. Urugero: “Kuki udashobora kwiga gukora ibintu neza uko bikwiriye?” cyangwa “Mba mbona nta byo uzi neza, reka jye mfata umwanya mbikwigishe…..” cyangwa “Jya ukora uko mbikubwira uzabimenya kandi uzanshimisha ”….

(4) Ishyari no gufuha cyane

Gukoresha ifuhe kugirango ugenzure ibikorwa by’umugabo n’aho ajya hose. Urugero: “Ntabwo nshaka kukubona uganira usekana n’abandi bagore. Birandya bikansaza,urashaka ko nzasara? ” cyangwa “Ntabwo nshaka kubona nimero za telefoni z’abagore n’abakobwa muri telefoni yawe. Sinshaka ko ucatinga(uganira) wandikirana n’abandi bagore abo ari bo bose keretse wansabye uburenganira. Sibyo chouchou? ”

(5) Ibikangisho n’Iterabwoba mu mayeri

Gutera ubwoba mu buryo butaziguye kugira ngo umuhahamure bitume adakora icyo yashakaga gukora. Urugero: “Sinzi icyo nakora uramutse untaye, cyangwa umunsi nakubonaye n’ undi mugore.” Cyangwa ngo “Niba ufashe iki cyemezo, niba utinyutse kubikora, sinzongera kukuvugisha ukundi,nzarinda mfa ntongeye kukubera uwo nari nsanzwe ndi we” cyangwa “Nubikora nziyahura mfe ntacyo nzaba nkimaze” n’ibindi bikangisho bitwikiriye urukundo.

(6) Gukoresha urukundo n’inkoni ihana

Kwima urukundo umugabo, kumuha urukundo rwinshi nko kumushimira ibyo yakoze, cyangwa gukupa urukundo nk’igihano. Urugero: “Sinzongera kuguha kugeza igihe uzapfukamisha amavi yombi ukansaba imbabazi.” Cyangwa “Sinzongera gukora inshingano z’urugo kugeza igihe uzampera iki n’iki” ….

(7) Gupfobya ibyiyumvo bye

Ni amayeri yo kugabanya igipimo cy’ibyiyumvo by’umugabo mu rwego rwo kumumara impungenge ngo atuze, ibyo bita “kumuturisha”. Urugero: “Wikabya, wihangayika, ntabwo icyo ari ikibazo gikomeye sheri,humura .” Cyangwa “Wabigize ikibazo gikomeye, wabyumvise nabi,reka ngusobanurire… .”

(8) Kumusezeranya ibyo utazigera usohoza

Gusezeranya umugabo ibintu utazigera usohoza kugira ngo atuze agire ngo si ko wabaye igihe yarakajwe n’imyifatire yawe cyangwa yavumbuye ubushegabo bwawe. Kumwereka ko atari ko uteye,ko byatewe n’impamvu izi n’izi ariko ko bizakosorwa vuba. Urugero: “Nzahinduka wowe mpa andi mahirwe gusa,ndiyizi kandi siko bizahora.”

(9) Kumugerekaho amakosa

Gutuma umugabo yumva ko afite uruhare ku bibazo byose byavutse cyangwa mu myitwarire mibi y’umugore we. Kumugerekaho amakosa yose, no kumwereka ko byose ari we ntandaro yabyo. Urugero: “Iyo utaza kumbwira gutya, nanjye sinari kugutuka kuriya” cyangwa “Iyo uza kuba umugabo ushoboye igikorwa, sinari bujye gushaka undi mugabo ukinkorera” Cyangwa “Impamvu nafashe umwanzuro ntakubajije ni uko wari watinze gutaha….”

(10) Guhindura uko ibintu byagenze mu by’ukuri

Guhindura cyangwa gusobanura ibyabaye kugira ngo ushimangire impamvu ibintu byageze kure. Urugero: “Sijye wabitangije,ni wowe wazanye izi mpaka” cyangwa “Ntabwo wibuka neza, ni wowe wakoze ibyo urimo kunshinja ko nakoze.”

(11) Kukugereranya n’abandi mu rwego rwo kugutesha agaciro

Kugereranya umugabo we n’abandi bagabo mu rwego rwo kumutesha agaciro aho kumwubaka. Ibi bikorwa n’abagore bashaka ko abagabo babo bahora biyumva ko bari hasi ku girango bo bifatire ubuyobozi mu rugo, baganze, bahindure abagabo babo ‘inganzwa’. Urugero: “Umugabo nyawe, ukomeye yamenya icyo gukora” cyangwa “Abandi bagabo bajijutse babikora gutya gutya, kandi bigenda neza” cyangwa “Ese uba umugabo cyangwa ni aho babuze? Jya ubaza abandi bagabo uko bafata abagore babo,uko bakora ibintu, uko bitwara,….. ”

Iyi ngingo ntigucike: ABAGABO NI ABAGARAGU B’ABAGORE –MENYA UBURYO IGITSINAGORE CYIFATIYE ABAGABO KIKABAHINDURA ABAGARAGU BABO BUCECE

Ese mu muco w’iwanyu umugore mwiza mwiza ni umeze gute? Ese birakwiriye ko umugore abanza guhindura umugabo we inganzwa kugira ngo ibintu byose bIgende neza mu rugo? Ese biracyagezweho ko umugore agandukira umugabo we akamufata nk’umutware we nk’uko bivugwa mu bitabo bitagatifu?

Iyi si,

HAKIZIMANA Maurice  II Kunkurikira kuri Whatsapp https://whatsapp.com/channel/0029VaCyM5ILdQejDYwQ2b2 II Kunkurikira kuri facebook: https://www.facebook.com/professormaurice/.