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ABAGABO NI ABAGARAGU B’ABAGORE –MENYA UBURYO IGITSINAGORE CYIFATIYE ABAGABO KIKABAHINDURA ABAGARAGU BABO BUCECE

April 29, 2024
professormaurice
879 Comments
Abarebye: 4,032

HAKIZIMANA Maurice

Ninde mugabo washatse wakwihandagaza yemeza ko ari we mutware w’umuryango we bya nyabyo? Bagabo, ese koko muri “ba shefu” mu miryango yanyu, mu nzego zitandukanye,ndetse no mu butegetsi bw’igihugu? Cyangwa ahubwo abagore nibo batuma Isi izunguruka ? Iki kibazo cyaranshishikaje cyane, maze ngwa ku gitabo cyanditswe n’umugore w’umudagekazi Esther Villar, igitabo yise “The Manipulated Man” (ngenekeje mu kinyarwanda/kirundi ni “Kwifatira umugabo”,mu gifaransa “L’Homme Manipulé”). Ku musozo w’iyi nkuru muraza kubasha kwivomera ku buntu icyo gitabo no kugisoma. Uwabaciramo muri make se ibigikubiyemo?

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Esther Villar (ku mazina ye yose: Esther Margareta Katzen) ni umuganga(médecin) w’inzobere n’umwanditsi w’ibitabo w’umudagekazi ukomoka ku babyeyi b’Abanyarijantine.

Iki gitabo cyanditswe n’uyu mugore w’intiti cyane cyamaganiwe kure n’abagore bagenzi be bo mu bice bitandukanye by’isi bagisomye ariko abagabo hafi ya bose bagisomye bo bemeranya nawe ku ngingo nyinshi. Atangira asobanura ukuntu kuva isi yabaho abagore bagiye bifatira abagabo mu gipfunsi, bakabagira abagaragu babo mu mayeri menshi, ari nako biriza ngo igitsinagore kirasuzugurwa ngo cyarahejwe nyamara ahubwo ari cyo gisuzugura kurushaho igitsinagabo gifata bucakara. Uyu mwanditsi yerekana ukuntu umugore atangira kwifatira umugabo kuva akiri umukobwa muto, mu gihe cyo kurambagizwa, igihe gisozwa n’ishyingiranwa. Hari imvugo y’icyongereza cya kera ibihamya igira iti “A man chases a woman until She catches him” ngenekereje ni nko kuvuga ngo « Umugabo yirukanka ku mugore kugeza ubwo uwo mugore amucakiye ».

Muri iki gitabo kandi, umwanditsi asobanura ukuntu  umugabo abeshywa agacurikwa agacurukurwa kugeza ubwo yiyumvamo ko nta kindi yaremewe uretse kwita ku munezero w’umugore we n’uw’abana yabyaye cyangwa umugore yabyaye ahandi. Umugabo agereranywa na Sisyphe  wa mugabo uvugwa mu migani y’Abagiriki ugoka yuriza umusozi urutare wenyine, ni uko agahembwa umunezero w’iminota mike w’imibonano mpuzabitsina nayo ahabwa nk’impuhwe agiriwe. Iki gitabo cya Esther Villars, kigaragaza ko umugabo ari umucakara uteye impuhwe w’irari (iruba) rye rimubera nk’amapingu cyangwa iminyururu umugore akoresha kugira ngo amuhambire amukanyage amugumishe mu kwiruka inyuma y’ubusa maze nawe amugire umucakara we ubuziraherezo. Icyo gitabo gikomeza kivuga iby’ishyali (ifuhe) ryinshi ry’abagore bose iyo bava bakagera, ukuntu buri mugore yumva agomba kugira umugaragu we w’igitsinagabo akamwiharira wenyine. Nk’uko buri shebuja w’umugaragu wese usanzwe aba yiyumva, umugore wese wifitiye umugabo we (“umugaragu”) yanga urunuka imyifatire yose igaragaza ko umugaragu we ashaka kumucika cyangwa ko hari undi mugore uko yaba ameze kose ari kureba neza cyangwa ari gufasha ikintu icyo ari cyo cyose. Akora uko ashoboye kose kugira ngo umugabo we agume mu bipfunsi bye abe ari we akorera gusa we n’abana be.

Mu buryo bw’ikigereranyo, buri mugabo wese akora nka Sisyphe wa mugabo uvugwa mu migani y’Abagiriki ugoka yuriza umusozi urutare wenyine, ni uko agahembwa umunezero w’iminota mike w’imibonano mpuzabitsina nayo ahabwa nk’impuhwe agiriwe.

Ibyanditswe muri iki gitabo cya Esther Villar byagarutsweho kandi byemezwa n’umusizi, umusesenguzi akaba n’umwanditsi w’ibitabo wo muri Nijeri witwa Chinweizu Ibekwe mu gitabo cye “The Anatomy of Female Power” (AFP) ngenekereje  ni nko kuvuga ngo « Imbaraga z’umubiri w’umugore” byongera gushimangirwa n’umwanditsi witwa Will Farrel, mu gitabo yise “The Predatory Female” ngenekereje mu kinyarwanda ni nko kuvuga ngo “Ubunyamaswa bw’Igitsinagore”.

Aba banditsi bombi nabo bemeranya n’imvugo yemeza ko abagore ari bo bayobora umuryango wa Kimuntu aho uva ukagera (matriaricat) n’ubwo bo batsindagira abantu kuvuga ko imiryango myinshi ya kimuntu iyoborwa n’Abagabo (patriarcat). Ubutegetsi bwa kigore (matriarcat) ntibuyoboza icy’ingufu, ahubwo buyoboza ubwenge n’ubucakura, abagore n’abakobwa bahurira ku kintu cyo kwiremaza no kwigira abanyantege nke imbere y’abagabo kugira ngo barindwe kandi bafashwe muri byose. Nguko uko abagabo n’abahungu mu by’ukuri ari cyo cyiciro cya kiremwa muntu gifatwa bucakara kuva isi yaremwa (urugero, mu ntambara zose zarwanywe,abahungu n’abagabo ni bo bashyirwa imbere ngo bapfire abasigaye, barabitojwe barabyakira, bogejwe mu bwonko ku buryo nabo bumva ari ishema gupfira igitsinagore).

Chinweizu agaruka ku bihe cy’irambagiza n’umunsi w’ubukwe, aho abona nabyo ari nk’umwitozo w’ubucakara no gutozwa nk’uko ifarashi itozwa. Mu rushako, umugore afata umugabo nk’itungo rye bwite riri mu kagozi akurura igihe ashakiye, akamufatira mu maguru ye yombi, yakosa akamuhanisha kumukupira inzira zose z’imibonano, agakora ku buryo umugabo we yumva atabaho atamufite,akajya anyuzamo akamuryoshyaryoshya nk’umwana muto kandi akamuhindurira ubuzima akamwangisha ubuzima yabagamo mbere cyangwa yakundaga kugeza ubwo asigara ariho uko umugore we ashaka ko abaho.

Umunsi w’ubukwe ubwawo ufatwa nk’ umunsi mukuru w’umugore n’incuti ze, aho ababutashye bose ari we baba berekejeho amaso n’umutima bakamushimira bamukomera amashyi basa nk’abagira bati “wowe ugeze ku ntsinzi, wikuriyemo umugaragu w’ubuntu kandi w’ubuziraherezo”. Uwo munsi w’ubukwe, umusore (umugabo) aba muri rusange arushye, yarakze umushinga w’imyaka myinshi yairiye akimara kugira ngo agere aho, maze uwo munsi nyirizina agasezera ku bwigenge bwe, agasezera ku ncuti ze zose z’abagabo, maze agatangira ubuzima nk’ubwa Sisyphe, agatangira gusunika urutare rwe ahazamuka ubuzima bwe bwose busigaye, ibyo kandi akaba nta burenganzira busesuye afite bwo kubivamo uko yiboneye kose  kuko Sosiyete yose , imiryango,umuco,biba biguhanze amaso ndetse na Leta isigaye yarabyitambitsemo.Uwo mugaragu iyo yibeshye gato yisanga muri gereza, cyangwa akisanga yaragizwe urw’amenyo n’iciro ry’imigani muri rubanda, bamwe na bamwe barananirwa burundu bagahitamo kwiyahura, cyangwa baba intwari bagacika ingo zabo (abagore babo) nk’abatorotse gereza mbi cyane kurusha izindi zose.Hari bake cyane bica ba shebuja babo (abagore babo) bikarangira bangije ubuzima bwabo ubutazabugaruza.

Za Leta nazo zifatanyije n’Umuryango mugari w’abantu bafasha buri mugore wese kugumana umugaragu we (umugabo) no gukomeza kumukoresha icyo ashatse nta gihunga.

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Umwanditsi Chinweizu avuga ukuntu abagore bose batozwa n’abagore bakuru bo muri bwa butware bwa Kigore (matriaricat) uko bakomeza kwifatira abagabo ntibazabacike. Mu gitabo cye avuga ukuntu umugabo atangira kozwa mu bwonko akiri agahungu gato kandi akabikorerwa na nyina wamwibyariye. Urugero, umuhungu n’umusore agirwa urw’amenyo iyo yigira mu gikoni kwitekera (mu mashyiga) cyangwa iyo ari kwikorera twa turimo duto duto two mu rugo.  Nyina umwibyarira we ubwe amubuza amahwemo, mbese twavuga ko umutware w’urugo rw’iwabo (nyina) aba ari umukozi mukuru wa rya tegeko rya Kigore riyoboye isi bucece. Umubyeyi w’umugore abikora abizi neza kandi abishaka, agatuma azinukwa uturimo tw’ingenzi ,umuco ukabimushyigikiramo, maze kwitekera no kwimesera bikava mu mutwe wa buri mugabo wese akiri muto,kandi ibi nta muco n’umwe utabisangamo, ku migabane yose yo mu isi. Intego yabyo nta yindi ni ugutegura ubwonko bwawe kuzabaho wumva nta cyo wakwimarira udafite umugore ukugenera byose mu byawe. Ahantu habiri hakomeye abagabo bose bafatirwa ni ku nda (gutekerwa/kugaburirwa) no ku gitsinda (imibonano).

Buri mugore wese wakuze neza yatojwe n’ubutware bwa kigore gufatira umugabo we ahantu habiri: mu gikoni no mu cyumba. Umugore akura atozwa kwita ku mubiri we n’ikimero cye nk’intwaro ihagije yo kuzagira umugabo umugaragu we, akiyitaho, akamwereka ikimero, akamuterekera amaso, cyangwa akamufungurira amaguru (gereza) akamukingiraniramo. Nanone buri mugore wese akura atozwa guteka neza, akazabasha kugaburira umugabo we neza (kwita ku nda ye) maze akamwifatira byuzuye. Izi ntwaro ebyiri gusa zirahagije kugira umugabo abe igikinisho mu ntoki z’umutware we, umugore we.

Mu gitabo cyitwa “Myth of the Male Power” (ngenekereje mu kinyarwanda: «Uko Abagabo bibeshyaho imbaraga») no mu gitabo cyitwa “A Man’s Right to the Other Woman” (bivuga ngo: «Uburenganzira Umugabo agira ku Wundi mugore ») byombi bya Esther Villar ; hamwe n’icyitwa “The Polygamous Sex” (ngenekereje mu kinyarwanda « Igitsinagabo n’abandi bagore») abanditsi babyo ntibemera ikinyoma cyakwirakwijwe mu isi hose cy’uko ngo abagabo batsikamira abagore, kandi bakoze ubushakashatsi bwimbitse cyane mu mico yo mu bihugu byinshi byo muri Afurika, ibyo mu Burengerazuba bw’Isi(Uburayi na Amerika) n’ibyo mu bihugu by’Iburasirazuba bw’isi (Aziya), banacukumbura imico ya kera n’iy’ubu, maze babona ko kuva isi yabaho iyoborwa n’abagore, kandi ko ubutware bwa Kigore bukorera mu bwihisho no mu mayeri menshi buyoboza ingo n’isi yose ubucakura n’ubugome bwinshi.  

Helen E. Fisher we yanakoze ubushakashatsi bushingiye ku byataburuwe mu matongo ya kera no ku bisigazwa bigaragaza uko kera ingo ibihugu n’imico byayoborwaga maze yandika igitabo gifite umutwe uvuga ngo “The Sex Contract, The evolution of human behaviour” 1982 (ngenekereje uwo mutwe w’igitabo cye ugira uti « Isezerano ry’Ibitsina byombi, Amateka y’imyitwarire y’Ikiremwa muntu  » 1982 . Muri ubwo bushakashatsi bucukumbuye cyane, uyu mwanditsi nawe yageze ku mwanzuro w’uko isererano ry’ishyingiranwa ryagiye muri rusange rikoreshwa nk’igikoresho cy’ubwikunde bw’umugore, aho akoresha igitsina cye mu kwifatira umugabo no kumugira umucakara wo kumukorera (kumufata neza, kumurinda) we n’abana be. Uwo mwanditsi w’umushakashatsi asoza avuga ko kuva isi yabaho nta kindi kiremwa cyangwa inyamaswa y’ingabo ijya yikorera uwo mutwaro cyangwa ngo ihindurwe umucakara wa ngenzi yayo y’ingore nk’uko biba mu bantu.

Muri iyi si, abakuru b’ibihugu, ibikomangoma n’abami mubona bose ni udukoresho n’udukinisho tw’abagore ni ukuvuga abatware babayoboza agatoki mu butware bwa Kigore buyoboye isi bwikinze inyuma y’inyegamo aho batagaragara.

KANDA HANO wisomere kandi wivomere ku buntu igitabo THE MANIPULATED MAN (“L’Homme Manipulé”) cyanditswe na Esther Villar.

the-manipulated-man_compressDownload

Wowe se urabyumva gute? Ibyo uyu mwanditsi na bagenzi be banditse ni impamo koko? Isi iyoborwa kigore (matriaricat) kandi nta rugo rutayoborwa n’umugore rubaho? Ese koko abagabo ni abagaragu n’abacakara b’abagore? Tubwire uko ubyumva mu mwanya wagenewe komanteri aha hasi.

Iyi si,

HAKIZIMANA Maurice: II You may also follow me on Whatsapp https://whatsapp.com/channel/0029VaCyM5ILdQejDYwQ2b2u

879 thoughts on “ABAGABO NI ABAGARAGU B’ABAGORE –MENYA UBURYO IGITSINAGORE CYIFATIYE ABAGABO KIKABAHINDURA ABAGARAGU BABO BUCECE”

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    Uwo nijye.

    Nk’ubu hari aho yavuze “umugore yigira umunyantegenke kugira yigarurire umugabo amugire umugaragu we n’igikoresho cyo kumurinda we n’abana be baba abo babyaranye cg yabyaye ahandi!!” Hhhh! Hanyuma se bwana uwo we abana si abe?!! Cg ni ibya wa mugani w’ikinyarwanda uvuga ko imfizi itabyara ivumera! Hhhh

    Ahandi nabonye ni ahavuga ko umukobwa atozwa gutereka ikimero no gutereka amaso kugira ngo igitsina cye azakigire intwaro yo kwigarurira umugabo amufungire hagati y’amaguru ye bitewe n’iruba ry’umugabo!! Ibi si ukuri rwose. Habe na gato! Niyo mpamvu nkunda science. Niyo ibisobanura neza. Imyitwarire y’igitsinagore kuri iyo ngingo ni ibintu byikora bitewe n’imisemburo kamere yaremanywe ku buryo nawe hari ibimubaho atabizi kimwe n’umuhungu ugira imisemburo imusunikira kwita no kurinda igitsinagore cyane cyane uwo afitiye amarangamutima ndetse n’abana be! Ni ibintu byikora atari uko yahenzwe ubwenge cg yabitojwe oya! Ni uko ateye nyine.

    Ahubwo urebye neza wasanga ibivugwa muri iyi ngingo byaha ishingiro abahisemo guhuza ibitsina babisangiye ngo birinde iryo mwise ikandamizwa n’ubucakara cg kwereka ko iyo gender yindi nayo yihagije ko yabaho itiriwe ihindura umucakara uwo mugabo mu rwego rwo kumurinda!

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  372. Njyewe kuri iyingingo yubutware bwumugore byatumye ntekereza incuro irenze imwe.ndibizango ubundi Ninde wihishe inyuma yubu butegetsi bwumugore ? Byatumye jya kunkomoko yumuntu . Igihe satani yashukaga Eva hanyuma agacimura byazanye itegeko ryi cyaha mungingo zacu ngo ridutware , uko ribishatse .kuva icyogihe uko Imana yariyateganije ibyiza byagombaga kuzwana nokuyumvira byarahagaze dutangura kuyoborwa nitegeko ryicyaha ,kand se w’icyaha ni satani .biroroshye cyane rero ko akoresha umugore muri buriya buryo twabonye muburyo bwokoreka burundu ikiremwa muntu .niba satani yarabashije kwifashisha umugore wari utunganye muriwe bigakunda hanyuma umugore agashuka umugabo wari utunganye bigakunda ,nkatswe noneho ubu ngubu tumeze nkindabo ziraba mugitondo nimugoroba zikuma?.

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