UMUSOMYI-IBIBAZO BYASUBIJWE URUKUNDO URUSHAKO

Menya utuntu 7 abagabo baba bifuza ku bagore babo ariko badashobora kutubasaba byeruye

February 1, 2024
professormaurice
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HAKIZIMANA Maurice

ABAGABO hafi ya bose babihuriraho.Ni bake cyane bazabisaba abagore babo byeruye,ariko iyo batabikorewe barashavura cyane. Ni nabyo ntandaro y’ingo zitishimye. Impamvu batabisaba byeruye cyangwa ngo babisubiremo kenshi, ni uko baba batifuza ko babonwa nk’abakabya. Niba uri umugore ukaba ugifite umugabo, ese wifuza kubimenya? Nabyegeranyije,ni bito cyane ariko nibyo bigarukwaho n’abagabo bose uzahura nabo.

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(1) KUBAHWA

Abagabo bose bakunda icyubahiro byabuze akagero. Ndetse kuri bo, urukundo ni ubusa imbere y’icyubahiro. Iyo umwubaha cyane kuri we birahagije, abibonamo n’urukundo. Mu yandi magambo, nubaza umugabo uwo ari we wese ikimenyetso kigaragaraza ko umugore we amukunda, aragusubiza mu nteruro ngufi gusa: niba anyubaha,arankunda.

Buri mugabo wese indeshyo ye yose asaba kubahwa cyane.Kubahwa nka kurya wubaha Nyakubahwa, Nyagasani cyangwa undi mutware wese ugufiteho ububasha. Ntabwo umugabo wawe azakubwira byeruye ngo “ugomba kunyubaha”. Nanabivuga rimwe ntazabivuga kabiri. Ariko nagira ati “sinkunda ibi n’ibi….nanga ibi n’ibi, ntukambwire gutya gutya, …” burya aba atanga itegeko. Iyo ubimenye ukabyubahiriza, abona ko umwubaha cyane. Abagabo bumva bafite agaciro iyo abagore babo babubahiriza cyane, ariko iyo abagore babasuzugura, batumva, batabaha agaciro, byica ubugabo bwabo (kamere yabo ya kigabo). Igihe uri kumwe n’incuti ze n’umuryango we, ujye ukuba kabiri icyubahiro wamuhaga, arushaho kuryoherwa iyo n’abandi babona ko umwubaha cyane. Mbwira abumva.

(2) KWIFUZWA

Ubusanzwe ibi bikundwa n’abagore -kubona bifuzwa, bararikirwa. Ariko n’abagabo,babikunda kubi. Banga ko bahora ari bo basaba urukundo, iyo yumvise ari wowe mugore uri kumwifuza,umukumbuye, wifuza kumugwamo  – yumva akunzwe cyane.Ngaho rero jya unyuzamo unamwereke ko nawe umushaka, umukumbuye, umushyuhiye…….ntazigera abigusaba,ariko abikunda kubi. Urumva?

(3) IBIGWI,IBISINGIZO

Gusingizwa no kuvugwa ibigwi babikunda kubi. Jya umenya kumubwira amagambo yatoranyijwe neza, nk’aya ngo uri mwiza, uri intwari, uri umunyabwenge, urakeye, useka neza, kukuba hafi bimpa umutekano, uri myugariro wanjye n’ibindi. Nyamara n’ubwo babikunda, ntibazigera babisaba byeruye. Niba rero uzi ubwenge, gira uti “kubita imfubyi ntuyibwirize kurira”.

(4) KUBONEKA,KUMUBA HAFI

Abagabo baba bashaka umugore uba ari n’incuti,woroshye mu mutwe, uba witeguye kumujya inyuma aho agiye hose. Umugore uboneka igihe cyose umugabo ashakiye kumuvugisha,kumusohokana, kujya gutemberana, kumarana na we igihe – iyo utabonetse rimwe,kabiri gatatu kandi ukamwereka ko ibimushishikaza atari byo bigushishikaza, ibyo akunda utabikunda, uba uri kumusezeraho buhoro buhoro,utabizi,kandi ntabyo azakubwira.

Azashaka undi wo gusohokana, kumarana igihe, kurebana filimi,umupira,…uboneka-kandi hari ubwo uzaba utakibasha kubigarura. Muri iyi si, hari abagore bandi bahora bakarabye, boroshye, baboneka bo gusohokana n’umugabo wawe, uramenye ntibizagere iyo yose. Nta mugabo uba ashaka gufata akarahuri ari wenyine ntibibaho, Kureba umupira ari wenyine, kureba filimi wenyine, gutembera muri parike n’ahandi hantu nyaburanga wenyine, nta mugabo udakenera kugaragirwa n’umugore,yaba uwe cyangwa undi. Ibi ni impamo.Bifate nk’ivanjiri. Niba wumva vuba,mvuze ngo iki?

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(5) GUSA NEZA,KURIMBA,BURI GIHE

Ibi nibyo abagabo bose bashaka! Nibyo abagabo bose bashaka ! Nibyo abagabo bose bifuza : Kugira umugore ukeye, usa neza, w’uburanga, wiyitaho bigaragarira ijisho . Buri mugabo wese aba ashaka kugira umugore yakwerekana mu bandi, utamutera isoni.

Niba uri umugore w’umunyamwanda cyangwa utiyitaho wibwira ngo “sinkirambagizwa” kakubayeho. Umugabo wawe ntazabikubwira, cyangwa ntazabisubiramo incuro nyinshi, ariko imisatsi yawe, amenyo yawe, impumuro yawe, imyenda yawe, kurimba kwawe, inzara zawe, mbese muri make isura yawe n’uko ugaragara, biramunezeza cyangwa bikamushavuza kabone n’ubwo atabikubwira. Jya wita ku isuku yo mu rugo, inzu ihora ikeye, ya yindi umugabo wawe adatinya kwinjizamo abakozi bakorana,incuti ze, n’abandi.Ya nzu umuntu yinjiramo agasanga utuntu twose turi ku murongo nko muri Hotel.Urugo rudatera ipfunwe umugabo wawe,haba mu buryamo, mu bwiherero, mu ruganiriro n’ahandi.

Wari uzi ko hari abagabo batinya kwerekana abagore babo mu ncuti zabo cyangwa abakozi bakorana? Byibazeho. Va mu bujiji, komeza kwiyitaho(no kwita ku rugo) nk’ukirambagizwa. Ibi byo ndabizi abenshi barajya impaka. Ariko nta mpaka zirimo: uzatakaza umugabo wawe kubera umwanda ni impamo. Sinkuburiye? Dukomeze hasigaye tubiri gusa.

(6) KUMUTERA INKUNGA, KUMUGIRIRA ICYIZERE

Nta mugabo ukunda umugore uba ashaka kumusubiza inyuma mu mishinga ye. Aba ashaka umugore umutera inkunga, utamuca intege. Menya ko abagabo bagira imishinga myinshi, baba barashatse cyangwa batarashaka. Nta mugabo ukunda umugore uhora arwanya akazi k’umugabo we, uhora amukurura amusubiza hasi mu nzozi ze n’ibyo apanga byagirira akamaro urugo rwe. Ashobora kuba adakora akazi wishimira,ariko nta mugabo wo kwicara ngo abe umusongalele ngo ategereje akazi ko mu nzozi ze. Hagati aho jya umutera inkunga,umukomeze,wirinde kumucira urubanza no gusuzugura akazi ke.

Nanone, abagabo bakunda abagore babagirira icyizere. Ntugahore ukeka amababa umugabo wawe! Namenya ko umugenzura, umugenza, umusomera za mesaje rwihishwa, cyangwa wumviriza ibyo avugana n’abantu utazi, n’ubwo atazabikubwira, ntazabigukundira. Bakunda kubyivugira utabakozeho iperereza. Nizere ko ntagosoreye mu rucaca.

(7)KUMUSHIMIRA BIHORAHO

Aka kantu abagabo bagakunda kubi.Gushimirwa.N’iyo kaba ari akantu gato bakoze, gato cyane, nko kugufungurira urugi rw’inzu cyangwa rw’imodoka, kugufungira ibipesu, kuguhereza akantu, jya umushimira. Wivuga ngo ni inshingano ze yakoraga. Jya umubwira ngo “urakoze mugabo mwiza” (subiramo) “urakoze mugabo mwiza” ku mpano yose aguhaye cyangwa ku gikorwa cyose akoze.

II Ushobora no kunkurikira kuri Whatsapp : channel on WhatsApp: https://whatsapp.com/channel/0029VaCyM5ILdQejDYwQ2b2

Ni ahanyu rero, bagore bashatse, kumenya no kwiga neza ibyo abagabo banyu bakunda kurusha ibindi.Abagabo ntibanagoye,ni abana beza.  Utu tuntu turindwi maze kuvuga haruguru abagabo bose baduhuriyeho kandi baradukenera, atari incuro imwe mu cyumweru, cyangwa incuro imwe ku munsi,ahubwo bihoraho.Niba ukimufite rero, nyamuneka, fatirana. — Isomo rirarangiye mujye kurya/kuryama!!

IYI SI,

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Mwalimu HAKIZIMANA MAURICE 

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