URUKUNDO URUSHAKO

Kuki abagabo benshi bakuze bahitamo kurongora abakobwa bakiri bato?

December 16, 2023
professormaurice
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HAKIZIMANA Maurice

INKURU IVUGWA HANI NI INKURU Y’IMPAMO Y’IBYABAYE KURI DESIREE PARALTA

Igihe nari mfite imyaka 16 nahuye n’umusore w’imyaka 22 duhuriye ku mbuga nkoranyambaga.Yari yibitseho ivatiri nziza, afite akazi keza (yari umunyamategeko wungirije) kandi yari ageze kure amashuri ye yo muri Kaminuza.Naho jyewe,nari nkiri umwana muto utararangiza na segonderi.

Buri kwezi data yampaga 50 $ yo kugura utwo nkeneye. Nta ruhushya rwo gutwara ikinyabiziga (umuduga) nagiraga, nta n’irangamuntu (ikarata ndangamuntu) habe n’icyangombwa kindi uretse ikarita y’ishuri gusa. Gusohoka njya hanze nabisabiraga uruhushya ababyeyi nibura icyumwru kimwe mbere yaho, muri make nari umwana utemba itoto.Uyu musore ukuze twaje gukundana n’ubwo tutari turi mu kigero kimwe.

Yambwiraga ko n’ubwo ndi muto mu myaka ngo nkuze mu bitekerezo, kandi ngo yakundaga ko nabaga nzi icyo nshaka. Yakoze ku buryo ninsoza segonderi nzamusanga kuri Kaminuza ye,kugira ngo tujye tumarana igihe kinini; kandi yahoraga amfasha mu byo nkeneye byose. Ndangije segonderi,niwe wanjyanye muri Kaminuza ye.

Muri icyo gihe cyose, numvaga ndi mu bicu nezejwe n’uko natomboye umugabo unkunda cyane byasaze, umpa agaciro; kandi unyitaho n’ubwo tutari ku rwego rumwe.

Icyakora,nyuma y’igiheeeee naje gukanguka mva mu bitotsi: namenye impamvu yanyihambiragaho.

Yakoraga ku buryo aza kumfata ku ishuri mu modoka ye,agakora uko ashoboye kose ngo ntahura n’incuti zanjye z’urungano,akangeza mu rugo kandi akora ku buryo ababyeyi banjye bamukunda bakanamwizera bavugaga ko ari umugabo mwiza kandi ko “andindira umutekano”. Sinzi icyo yabahaye. Kubera ko ntasohokaga mu rugo cyane kubera ababyeyi banjye bataregezaga,nawe yahoraga akurikirana aho nyuze hose. Nari meze nk’imfungwa ye yujuje ibyangombwa.

Muri make,yari yaranyifatiye byuzuye akankoresha ibyo ashaka ko nkora byose dore ko nanjye ntari nzi neza icyo nshaka muri urwo rukundo.Mbiona nari mbereyeho kumushimisha gusa,kumuryohereza ubuzima.

Naje kugera ku mwanzuro w’uko uyu mugabo akankundiraga uwo ndi we n’imico yanjye,oyaaaa, ahubwo yari yarampisemo kuko nari umwana utazi gutandukanya ururo n’icyatsi, uwo yashoboraga kwifatira mu gipfunsi cye akagenzura uko ashaka kose.

Photo by Katie Salerno

Undi mukobwa ukuze ntiyari bubimwemerere ndabarahiye, kuko abandi bakobwa uruhuri beza kundusha bari bahari bamwe bazi icyo bashaka,bakunda gusohoka no kuryoshya, ariko ntiyabarebaga n’irihumye. Nta we yari kubasha kwifatira nk’uko yanyifatiye.

Nta ncuti nyinshi nagiraga;amasomo yanjye niyo yamfataga umwanya munini, ubundi nkibera mu rugo, nkanita kuri uwo mugabo,chéri wanjye.

Iyo ngira n’amahitamo hagati ye n’abandi basore b’urungano, icyo gihe n’ubundi nari kumuhitamo, kuko yari yaragize icyo ageraho,yifitiye inzu ye nziza cyane, akayabo k’umushahara, ikimodoka cyiza,n”ibindi. Rwose nta n’umwe wabindenganyiriza. Ntangiye Kaminuza ngatangira gufata ku mafaranga no ku mudendezo, twahise tubivamo ako kanya.Twaratanye.

Urukundo rwacu ntaho rwari kungeza,nafunguye amaso mva mu bitotsi menya isi ngira incuti zanjye nigirira icyizere kandi ntangira gukora ibintu binshimisha bitamushimisha kuko sinari nkiri mu biganza bye;

Icyantangaje, tukirekurana neza, aho gutekereza no gukura mu bitekerezo,yahise ashaka akandi kana k’agakobwa keza kakiri muri segonderi ubundi agahundagazaho umunezero akarya umutima karahava.

Ibigabo byinshi bikuze bihitamo udukobwa tukiri duto kubera ko ari two bibasha kurya umutima mu buryo bworoshye

Ku myaka 16 gusa, iyo ngira amahitamo hagati yo gukundana n’umusore wo mu rungano rwanjye, twigana, dusekana, dukorana imikoro yo ku ishuri, n’umugabo ukuze, ukora, ufite amafaranga, ungurira ibyo nifuza byose, kandi untwara mu modoka ye, birumvikana rwose ko nari guhitamo uwo mugabo ukuze.

Ibigabo bikuze bihitamo udukobwa tukiri duto kubera ko ari two bibasha kurya umutima bigakunda,nibo bashoboye kubeshyabeshya.Biraborohera cyane guhitamo abataraca akenge mu bakobwa aho kuzana umukobwa ukuze,umugore wanyuze muri byinshi usobanukiwe.

Abakobwa bataraca akenge babona utuntu twose babashukisha nk’ibitangaza, utuntu duto bahawe badufata n’ibintu bikomeye, guhabwa umunyenga mu kimodoka cyiza babifata nk’ijuru, kujyana muri resitora y’igitangaza akishyura byose uba ubona bidasanzwe,mbese nk’aho wabaye umwamikazi uganje.

Ku bakobwa bakiri batoto cyane,abagabo bakuze ntibagorwa no kubatereta no kubemeza kuko utuntu duto dusanzwe turabashitura, utwo tuntu abasore b’urungano batabasha gukora.

Kandi ibi ni ko bimeze ku myaka yose. Reka nguhe ingero nke :

  • Abahungu b’imyaka 16 ntibabasha no kugusohokana ahantu heza ngo bishyure, ariko abahungu barengeje imyaka 20 hafi 30 bo baba bafite ku mafaranga.
  • Abahungu bo mu myaka 20-30 nabo ariko nta nzu baba bibitseho,abakobwa b’imyaka 18-20 nabo bahitamo abasore bakuze baba mu nzu biyubakiye.
  • Abasore bo mu myaka 30-35 nabo hari benshi batabasha gutunga umugore ngo bamuhe ibyo yifuza byose, ubwo rero abakobwa bo mu myaka 30-35 nabo bihitiramo abasaza bafite amafaranga bazarya bicaye.

Birakomeze gutyo kugeza mu myaka yose, kandi si ugushaka amafaranga gusa hari n’ababa bashaka gutungwa n’ abagabo batuje, bakuze mu gihagararo no mu bitekerezo, kandi bafite icyerekezo uko imyaka baba bafite yaba ingana kose.

Insoresore z’ubu za maringaringa nazo zibifitemo uruhare rutari ruto. Usanga mukundana akaguta mutamaranye kabiri, usanga bajarajara bafatafata. Ariko umusaza usanga atuje,aguhitamo uri umwe kugeza mutandukanye, iki cyo ndakibakundira,muri rusange.

Wasanga wowe uri gusoma ubu buhamya bwanjye utekereje uti « ibi byose ni mwe bagore n’abakobwa mubyitera,muramutse mwihagazeho mukiha agaciro byahagarara. » Ariko waba wirengagije ko abakobwa n’abagore bakiri bato benshi baba nta mahitamo basigaranye,kubera nyine ibibakurura kandi byumvikana. Turia abantu,iyo turi abana dukunda ibishashagirana.Uti gute rero?

Abagabo bakuze bahitamo abakobwa bakiri bato kuko abo bana b’abakobwa baba batazi ubuzima, bataraca akenge,bakemera bakabifatira

Indi mpamvu abagabo bakuze bihitiramo utwana duto, ni uko nyine babasha kubifatira no kubakoresha ibyo bashaka byose .

Jyewe,sinahisemo wa mugabo kuko namukundaga by’ukuri,namuhisemo kuko yari umugabo undenze,wubatse ubuzima.Ku myaka 16 yanyumvishaga ndetse yanyerekaga ko ntaho ahuriye n’urungano rwanjye,ampa byose,nkumva koko nta handi najya.

Nuko amaze kumfatisha neza nanjye maze kumwiyumvamo, atangira rero kunyifatira no kunkoresha ibyo yifuza byose,kuko yari amaze kubona ko ari we buzima bwanjye.

Nabaye ikigwari,natekerezaga ko ari bwo buzima,sinari nzi urukundo uko rumera.Nta bunararibonye mu rukundo nari mfite, yaramfatiranye ku buryo ntumvaga ko hari ubundi buryo bw’urukundo bubaho.

Yanciye ku basore bose,ngasohokana nawe gusa,angira nk’umugore we byuzuye,kandi n’ubwo tutabanaga, nta wari wemerewe kunsura iwanjye uretse we gusa. Ku mbuga nkoranyambaga yambujije gupositinga ibyo nshaka byose, ambuza amahwemo,ngo kuko « ntagombaga gupositinga udufoto n’utuvidewo tugaragaza ubwiza bwanjye kandi narafashwe ».

Ibi byo kwifatira umuntu gutya no kumuheza umwuka nta wundi aba bagabo bakuze babasha kubikorera uretse abakobwa bataraca akenge,batarakunda na rimwe batazi iyi si.

Icya nyuma, mbona abagabo bakujije ingeso bahiga abakobwa bakiri bato « bataraca akenge » kubera ko batazi ukuntu bahaza irari ry’umuntu uzi uko bimera

Icya nyuma, mbona abagabo bakujije ingeso bahiga abakobwa bakiri bato « bataraca akenge » kubera ko batazi ukuntu bahaza irari ry’umuntu uzi uko bimera, “abagore bakujije ingeso ” nkabo.

Numva umugabo wiyizeye, uzi ubwenge, kandi muzima atagombye guhiga umukobwa ukiri isugi haba ku mubiri no mu bitekerezo, kubera ko aba azi uko yakwita ku mugore we uko yaba yarabayeho kose mbere yo kumenyana nawe.

Abagabo bakuze batiyizeye; bikunda,kandi bazwi nabi n’abo mu rungano rwabo n’iwabo,nibo mbona biruka imisozi n’udusozi bahiga abakobwa bakiri bato kuko batinya abo mu rungano rwabo,dore ko baba bazi neza ingeso zabo mbi. Baba bazi ko atari beza,ni uko bagahiga uwo bafatirana.

Kuri wa mucuti wanjye wandiye umutima nababwiye,numvaga nishimiye ko yari azi byinshi,ko azi gukunda no gukora ibintu neza,unyitaho,umpundagazaho amafaranga n’impano,kandi unshakira umunezero.

Ariko byahe byo kajya, nta kintu azi, naje gusogongera menya ko burya yari yaranyishe.We yari azi ibyo arimo gukora ku buryo ntamenya uko ubuzima bumeze ahandi.

Bakunda udukobwa duto kuko biborohera kudutereta no kudufatisha.Bene aba bana b’abakobwa ntibamenya ko bagizwe imfungwa abaja n’abacakara b’aba bagabo.

Abagore bakiri bato bemezwa vuba, baratereteka, bakunda amafaranga, kandi baba bari mu nzozi. Abagore bakuze bo, baba bazi ibyo bashaka, kandi ntacyo wabashukisha batabyemeye, baba barabayeho ubuzima bwabo, batakiri ba bana baroteshwa ku manywa. Iyo abagabo bashaje(bakuze) baterese abakobwa bakuze (b’urungano rwabo cyangwa batakiri abana cyane) baganira nk’abakuze bagiye gufatanya ubuzima,aho kubafatisha utuntu tudafashije.

Mugire wikendi nziza,

IYI SI,
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HAKIZIMANA MAURICE 

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