
The source of many misunderstandings and conflicts is often the interpretation we place on the gestures, words, actions or even thoughts of the other! When we judge the actions of the other based on our own interpretation, without validating whether what we perceive is consistent with the other’s intention, we create scenarios that can only be harmful to the relationship. We are then in projection mode: we project onto the other what we believe we ourselves would do in their place.
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We color reality based on our own fear scenarios, never based on our love scenarios. We anticipate reaction X because we put forward the idea that we ourselves would react in this way in such a perspective. And yet, we have never worn the other’s shoes. We do not have their life, their experiences, their wounds, or their resources. We start from what we carry that is smallest, that is to say a gratuitous judgment on the other, conditioned by our fear of losing. And when we are in judgment, we cannot be in love.

Sometimes we are so afraid of losing the love of the other that we create scenarios in our mind where precisely this love is taken away from us, as if to prove ourselves right and hurt us in advance of what may never happen, or only later. This is how we create our own suffering, from scratch, from our erroneous scenarios based on irrational fears and hasty judgments that our pride prevents us from questioning.
How many times after checking what another person meant have we realized that it was not at all what we thought? And yet, we continue to create other scenarios so fleshed out that we could, precisely, win the first prize for interpretation!
Too often, we do not dare to ask the real questions, for fear of the answer. And yet, it is in this response that we can better understand the other and then decide on our own, more appropriate response to their words and gestures.

We believe that the other is angry? Let’s ask him if this is the case. We fear that the other no longer loves us? Let’s check with him! We believe that such behavior was intended to hurt us? Let’s validate with this person his intention in acting in this way.
Let’s recognize that most of our interpretations are not based on reality but on our fears! And we must not confuse here the interpretation, created in our mind, with our intuition, which comes from the heart and is rarely wrong! Let’s validate more, interpret less!

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